I keep having these episodes where I cry myself to sleep, and I hate the way I look. I started cutting in 7th grade, and now I am 19 and in college. I thought I was over with feeling down and wanting to hurt myself, but I'm not. I have these mood swings where I am happy and want to be with my family and other times I just want to be alone and everything irritates me. My mother knows of my cutting and problem, but she doesn't understand how I actually feel. She tells me to go talk to her when I feel down, but I can't talk to her. It's hard to. I've been cut free in the past for a year, but now I'm only 7 months. I'M afraid of cutting again because my thighs are already scared up all over the place. I can't wear shorts or skirts above my knee anymore. and My left wrist already has ugly scars. I would love to speak to my doctor, but I haven't seen the doctor since my freshman year in high school. What am I supposed to do?? Like I said my mom already knows, but it seems like to her it's "get over it" or "you'll get through this." but I can't.